"Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas means a little bit more." -The Grinch
the pressure. the anxiety. the competition.
Please stop. All you creative sistas out there competing with one another, trying to come up with the most unique, perfectly pleasing, creative reenactment of silly scenarios, magical mischievousness & picture-worthy perfectionism is putting the rest of us sub-par moms in the hot seat. In the corner. In trouble. Sigh.
We all know that no one puts baby in the corner, but what about all the "spread-too-thin mamas" out there, near & far?
The stress of wiping away tears while coming up with a quick, believable reason to why "Elfy" is yet again in the same place, the exact same contortion. Expressionless is not for the faint of heart.
Us Mamas barley pulling 5 hours of sleep a night, make-up still halfway on one eye, are begging you to stop. Please stop with yo Pinterest pinning, Instagram sharing, over the top Facebook posting proving to all, you're a creative genius. We get it. You are awesome. The rest of us? Not so much. We are tired. Yawn. We still have dishes in our sink, left over wine in our glasses, & wet, mildewed clothes, needing another cycle. Getting the tree trimmed, the stockings hung, and the presents wrapped is a multi-tasking skill all on its own. Christmas cards? Ha! I think we can all agree a three year rotation is now the norm. Shit. It's year three. gasp. Just added to the infamous to-do list. The time you Martha Stewarts obviously have on your hands is killing the rest of us. #TrueStory
All children deserve the s'more makin', cookie bakin' game-board playin', dressin'-up diva Elf.
Unfortunately, not all children will receive, even though they believe. sniff.
In all seriousness, the pain is real. Quite overwhelming to be exact. The stress is real. The tears are real. For both child and mom.
To be honest ... I truly don't hate; I can congratulate. Keep up the great work all you creative mama-gurus. Continue to shine, seriously. I'll continue to try and not be envious. In the mean time, for all the rest of us, aka mama-slackers, out there here are some solutions for Elf On The Shelf Hell.
Elfy took a bad fall, a stumble. Breaking a leg. Therefore, moving around freely is not permitted.
Elfy has the Flu. A bad case actually. Bed & rest is needed. Therefore, moving around freely is not permitted.
Elfy is Blind. But still magical. Bad behavior can be felt & heard. Therefore, moving around freely is not permitted.
Elfy has Fibromyalgia. Moving is extremely painful. Therefore, moving around freely is not permitted.
Elfy suffers from severe Migraines. Noise & bright light makes condition worse. Therefore, moving around freely is not permitted.
Elfy has Lupus. Anything touching or rubbing his body is extremely painful. Therefore, moving around freely is not permitted.
Elfy has Cancer. Depression & fear are a real side-affect. Elfy will be undergoing chemo & radiation. Therefore, moving around freely is not permitted.
Elfy has Special Needs. Elfy finds true joy in just watching from the fireplace mantel. Don't judge Elfy because he can't do creative shenanigans like the other elves. Therefore, moving around freely is not permitted.
Elfy suffers from depression. Getting out of bed zaps most of his energy. The pressure from the holidays is debilitating. Therefore, moving around freely is not permitted.
Elfy has Multiple-Sclerosis, MS. Therefore, moving around freely is not permitted.
Elfy has Alzheimer's. Poor fella doesn't even know & realize he hasn't moved in three days. Therefore, moving around freely is not permitted.
Don't judge. Or even gasp. wink.
Why not spin this Elf-delimia into a memorable teaching moment? A real, raw, authentic moment between you and your child, talking about human aliments that affect everyone. What a perfect way to start meaningful conversations and open the door on tough, sticky situations no one wants to talk about or dare address.
They know. Children know. They are listening. They pick up on the worry, the stress, & the sadness parents think they are actually protecting them from. Time to start a conversation. Conversations about compassion, judgement, kindness, sickness, uniqueness, sadness, disease, love & acceptance. Children are tough little suckers. They know much more than we realize and much more than we give them credit for. The moment we are upfront & honest with our children and answer those hard questions they all most certainly have, Growth takes place. Understanding prevails. Healing begins. Respect earned.
Cheers to killing two birds with one stone. (Where did that phrase even come from? Don't go killing birds please.) Anywho, there is no longer a need to panic, stress, nor set the alarm on your iPhone as an Elf radical reminder.
Breathe. Relax. Enjoy the holidays. Make new memories. Including the #ElfOnTheShelf, and the marketing genius behind it. Time to flip the script darlin'. Quit comparing yourself to others & tryin' to keep up with the Jones & the Martha Stewarts we all love to hate. Pour yo bad-ass self another glass of wine and think outside of the world's box. #ElfOnTheShelf... Nah. No more stress and worry. Elfy just broke his leg tonight. smile.
Let the Christmas Spirit begin....
I will be off planning our matching outfits for Christmas Cards. Giggle.
Love your Life. Live your Dream. Be Amazing. always.
Love. Live. Be.